The Wind Shows Me
Where I am living now is in walking distance to a lake. Each morning I walk the dog down there, I sit on the bench and I watch the reeds. The reeds help me to understand how much wind there is. This morning, when I went to the lake, the movement of the reeds was nearly undetectable. This got me to thinking that had I not seen them moving, would I have known if there was wind? This then got me wondering what else I may be unaware of.
I find that I am only aware of the wind when it is moving at a certain speed, then it gets my attention. I liken this to emotions. We are having emotional experiences all day, everyday, pleasant and unpleasant, but how aware are we of the emotions we are having? I don't know about you but in the not so distant past I was completely aware of all the unpleasant emotions I was having. In fact, I was a bit fixated on them. I would tell everyone I knew about how this thing didn't turn out how I wanted, and that family member upset me, and the traffic, and my employee, and the client complaint, and, and, and. Like the reeds showing me the level of wind that is happening, my attention to my negative emotional experiences were trying to tell me that I was not enjoying my life. I, however, was unaware that I was unhappy.
Through much seeking I began to realize the broader spectrum of emotional experiences I was having and begin to focus on the more pleasant ones, which lead to more pleasant experiences. But, that wasn't all that I needed, to just focus on the positive things, I also needed to learn to heal the internal part of me that continued to create the bad feeling emotions. Feeling bad does not come from an external factor, it is not that person or situation that is making you feel bad, you feel bad inside and the circumstance is just showing you that. Attempting to get the world to be as you would have it is an impossible task, but learning to heal so you are no longer affected by the world that is doable.
Lastly, I learned that we have been taught to label everything and everyone as "good" or "bad," "right" or "wrong." And, when I learned how to stop doing that, to see that there is no such thing and to understand that everything is always in divine order, how it should be, then I began to feel peace. I now get to explore stillness everyday and choose it as often as I can remember. I now get to feel good, almost exclusively, and when I don't I know exactly what is going on and go about the work of healing me.
I want to share this with you, if you are ready, if it is time, and if something I wrote resonated with you.
Erin "taking me on, on the daily" Mac