What is Your Default Setting
This week I am on a road trip and while the days of driving are long in hours, I have been passing the time by listening to the most delicious information, and I wanted to share with you a tidbit that really resonated with me. The person I have been listening to asked the question, "How much are you intending in your life vs. how much are you reacting to your life?"
I can say up until about 5 years ago there was maybe 5% intention and 95% reacting to everyone and everything that was going on in my life. I would say I was acting from a default setting. That default setting had me believing that people in my life, whether they be employees or personal relationships, were doing things to agitate me and create stress in my life. Heck, I even behaved as though the person who was driving slow in front of me and refusing to use their signal was doing that specifically to upset me. If you would have asked I would have intelligently told you that I didn't actually believe that, but by the curse words that were flowing freely from my lips that is not how I was behaving. I am sure I looked like a lunatic, but I felt justified to respond that way.
So, what is that? Where do these default settings come from? They come from past experiences where we were either modeled or told how people should behave, by the adults in our lives, and we adopted these ideas and continued to find evidence that these thoughts were the truth. From these ideas we categorized people and circumstances into what is "right and wrong" and "good and bad," or another way to say this is we attached emotions to these thoughts/ideas. This is the foundation in which we experience our lives and is what created the default settings.
Does that make sense so far? So, who cares, why is this important? Well, it is important because it is when we use these default settings and someone does not fit into our "right" or "good," then we reserve the right to be upset with them, blame them, get angry, make them wrong, and many, many other reactions that don't feel good. As you know, I am the self declared "Joy Slinger," so you can gather from that title that I am all about feeling good. Why do we want to feel good, predominantly, because we can!! We can choose to feel good almost exclusively and that is precisely what I suggest. Does that mean that life will stop? No, it means that you can simultaneously be moving, having a very hectic life and choose to do it in peace and calm, when you understand what is happening behind the scenes!
If this is something you would like to understand better or if you just want to enjoy your life more, let's connect so we can figure out how to make that happen, and soon! What do you have open next week?
Peace, Erin "life by intention" Mac