The other day I was being interviewed on a podcast and the host asked me, "How did you know you were unhappy?" I said, "I didn't!" I started to think back to how my life was not that long ago. I had it all: a marriage, a child, several homes, nice cars, and a successful business. Did I have any right to be unhappy?
The reason I didn't know I was unhappy was because I was caught up in the day-to-day business of being successful, amassing things, gaining status, looking good, and keeping up with the Jones'. I was doing all the things that society and my family had told me was going to create happiness. I was buying nicer and nicer cars, bigger and more houses, building my businesses. There was no time to think and certainly no time to feel about much of anything. My days were spent trouble shooting solutions for my staff, clients, family and friends and cramming as many things as I could in a day. It was exhausting, stressful and most importantly lacked meaning.
The next question the podcast host asked was, "What was the turning point for you. The thing that changed it all around?" I'm not sure what I answered during the recording, but I have been thinking about it a lot since then. What I have come up with is that there was not one thing that happened it was many seemingly small things that moved the dial for me from unhappy to joy. It was the book I read, a saying someone told me, a movie I watched, or a conversation I had. These mini moments were able to breakthrough the day-to-day thoughts and action and stick somewhere inside ready to be recalled when I needed them. In retrospect you can see all the things that happened that led to this moment, it's just that when it is happening it appears like it is in slow motion.
Mini Moments Matter
So while there is no one thing that caused change, there is often the last thing, crisis. Unfortunately, I am no different than others in that the final straw to finally changing and choosing joy was a crisis. I know that it doesn't need to be , it's just that the crisis helps you cross the line from 'I can grind out another day like this' to, 'enough is enough. I just can't take it anymore'. I call this the threshold of pain. Once it is crossed we do what we have to do to find relief. So what's to be done about this? I say seek. Look until you find your answers. Listen to podcasts, watch videos, read books, ask people you trust and look up to and keep your eyes and ears open. You see, these mini moments happen all the time, when we are aware and present. We are meant to be enjoying our life right now, everyday, all day. If that is not the experience you are having let's have a chat about it and see what we can come up with together. I look forward to connecting soon.
Peace, Erin "mini moments matter" Mac