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Family Time, Yippee???
This week I had the honor of sharing with many of my clients what I think is fundamental to all persons interested in learning how to enjoy this life: understanding why we do what we do, why we have emotional experiences like anxiety, stress, and overwhelm, and what to do about it. And, it couldn't have come at a better time because what is more triggering than spending an entire weekend with family!
Whoops, I said the thing we aren't supposed to say, that spending time around family, while it is what we tend to cherish, can have us acting and feeling like a child again. It can bring up unwanted feelings and sometimes we behave around them like no other place in our life. Maybe we say and do things that are totally out of our everyday character and wonder to ourselves, why?
Well, I won't go into a long and drawn out explanation, but it has to do with patterns we created as children with our loved ones that are very difficult to break because we have participated in them so long that they are deemed "normal". So we have that going on.
The other reasons that spending time with family can be challenging is that we have created a story with them that has helped us to shape our entire world and what we think is possible in it. This story may have some not so great things in it that are still unresolved. How would you know they are unresolved? When you are reacting or over reacting in an emotional way (stress, anxiety, shutting down, addiction, overwhelm, anger, lashing out, being too busy, sarcasm, depression, putting other people's needs in front of yours, anything that doesn't feel good), that is a sign that there are areas in which you can work on.
When working with clients I use that past story to help them connect the dots between that story, how it is still showing up in their lives to this day and everyday and how to move away from that story and create a new one. A new story with calm, peace of mind, meaning and purpose. If that sounds like something you would like to know more about let's hop on a call next week and discuss how to start that journey, we have a month until the next trigger, Christmas (I kid, or am I?). Or, if Hanukkah is your celebration, that's in a few days so let's get started immediately! Then, there is the new year as a goal post!
Erin "enjoying life, even the holidays" Mac