FEELING GOOD ABOUT IT
It's no wonder we don't know how to feel good about ourselves, no one taught us. Wait, let me make it about me, in case someone did sit you down and teach you how to feel good about yourself. I was never taught to feel good about myself. (This is not a boo hoo story, just something I realized.)
Maybe you can relate to this? When I was little my parents, and some other adults (teachers, priests, relatives) started congratulating me for all the things. It started with waving, standing, running, talking, then it moved into sports and academics, and so on. I think most adults do this? I don't mean all the time, for sure! Likely in support of their child/children. Makes total sense. They said things like, "Good job" "Way to go,"or "I'm proud of you."
It wasn't until about 5 years ago that I was listening to a webinar on parenting where the instructor said that in order to build up your child's self-esteem you should rephrase your praise of them to, "How does that make you feel to win that game, get that A, or when someone says something nice?" What the what??!! This was a game changer for me in parenting.
As it turns out this is also how you can learn, as adults, how to feel good about yourself. You can ask yourself that question, "How does this make me feel?" And, I would suggest, that you ask this to yourself over and over again about everything because we've practiced for so long looking outside of ourselves for validation. No wonder we are trying to keep up appearances in all parts of our lives. We have been taught that it is what others think of us that matters. Now, it is time to look inside and discover what makes you feel good, what matters to you.
I think my grandfather said it best, "What other people think of you is none of your business." This statement has carried me through some trying times. I realize now that seeking validation outside of myself does not make me feel good, and so many more things, all because I continue to ask myself, "How does that make me feel?" Would you like to learn how to feel good about yourself, confident in what you are doing and who you are being? Let's hop on a chat and sort it out. How does next week look?
Erin "all the feels" Mac