I heard something this morning, "Which have been the most valuable lessons, your comfortable times or the difficulties?" I think we all know the answer to that. The most challenging times are when we are catapulted into change, willing or not, because the pain of the outcome exceeds what we are willing to tolerate. A threshold has been crossed. This is when clients come to me, so they can relieve their pain.
What causes the pain? Resistance. We have an extraordinary amount of resistance to what is. It's not our fault. We are taught to want everyone and everything to go according to our plan and when it doesn't we reserve the right to be upset by them or it.
Also, resistance comes in many forms. First we have the internal resistance to change from the subconscious mind. It is only interested in survival (food, water, shelter), so anything not related to that is not to be acknowledged. You can see why dieting and maintaining an exercise routine can be challenging!
Then, there is your inner circle. While they may see that you are unhappy and that change would do you good, once you begin to change it forces them to either look at what isn't working in their life or go further into denial.
Lastly, society isn't keen on change, unless it is toward the ideal of buying more things, making more money or having a nicer fill in the blank. If it doesn't fit into those categories then it is not worth putting attention on.
Wow, that sounded grim, but it's not because now you know what you are up against. And, wouldn't you rather know what you're dealing with than be surprised?
Resistance Is Futile
So, now you know, now what? Well, how you navigate this is to get intentional about what you want to create. We spend an awful lot of time talking about what we don't want. Now, I want you to start recognize when you notice a "not want" and call it out by saying the want! This may sound simple and maybe even childish and, it works! Your homework, should you choose to take it on, is to practice noticing the "not want" and replacing it with the want as often as you can recognize it. This exercise is to combat the habitual ways of the subconscious mind, to trip it up and insert some positivity. It can't hurt, right? Let me know what you discover. Finally, I want to encourage you to not wait until a crisis to reach out to me. It is possible to retrain your brain and have a better life experience starting now! We are meant to be enjoying our life all the time, I believe it is your birthright. If that is not the predominant experience you are having let's chat next week so I can get you started finding your joy. What works for you?
Peace, Erin "the joy slinger" Mac