At the end of 2017 I was in one of my darkest moments in my life. I was going through a divorce, my business of 18 years was for sale and I had no idea what I was going to do with myself and that business was a part of my identity for nearly 2 decades. It was because of these two things that I felt lost. I was sitting on the beach in Kona, Hawaii (I know, paradise, boo hoo for me ;)) at 9 am and I began to sob (if you can't relate to sobbing fill in the blank with anger, anxiety, sadness, depression). It wasn't anything in particular that I was crying about, the tears just came, and came and came. I didn't even try to fight it because I knew I couldn't.
After an hour or so, I left the beach still crying and went to the grocery store. See, I was having a birthday weekend at a client's house on the beach starting that night with just the ladies, and the rest of the weekend our kids were going to join us. I had told all the ladies that I would go to the grocery store and get all the food and drinks and meet them later.
Living in a small town you get accustomed to running into people that you know all the time and of course that is what happened at the grocery store. A good friend, who was due to celebrate with me that night, saw me and came over. When I looked up she saw that my eyes were red and that tears were coming down my face. Of course she asked if I was okay and I told her that it was just something I was doing that day and I was fine. She hugged me and we said good bye.
I finished shopping and drove out to the house to start putting all the food away and getting it ready for my friends to arrive. Still crying the entire time. Shortly thereafter, my friend Angie walked in the door and looked at me, asked me if I was okay, then said what I needed to hear all day. She said, "Are you going to be crying all weekend?" It startled me so much that I finally stopped crying and said, "No."
Now, some may think it was cold of her to say that, but actually, that is exactly what needed to happen, I needed to disrupt my brain. See, I didn't think I had control over the crying or for that matter any of my emotions. I used to be at the mercy of each and every one of them and my experience all day every day was me being in reaction to every one and everything.
I know now that this is not who you are and not the experience that you were meant to have in this life.
If this story resonates with you at all, let's have a chat. I can quickly show you why I know you are not your emotions or your thoughts and a strategy I use to disrupt your brain's habitual thinking so you don't have to feel bad for long. I can show you how to figure out who you really are and live your life in joy, starting now. What time works next week?
Peace, Erin "dry eyed" Mac