One of my morning practices is listening to or reading something that speaks to me on a deep level.  The other day while I was doing that, I heard this, "So many people are disconnected and numbed by the routine of their life."  See, I thought that this meant those people that go to work for a company for 50 years, doing something that they don't particularly like but happen to be good at, or stay in the 20 year marriage in which they are unhappy.  I completely stood in judgement of those people.  Come to find out this was me, and I had no idea.  It's so crazy, too, because I look back on things now and wonder how in the heck I could not see how miserable I was. 

I remember not too many years back, going to a seminar and coming home inspired and buying a glass jar, putting it on the kitchen bar and telling my husband (at the time) and my daughter that the jar was for the purpose of writing down memories, happy moments, or things that happened that made us feel good.  I thought that we could collect them for a year and then sit down together and read them aloud and it would feel good.  Funny thing is, after many months there were only a few pieces of paper in there and those were not easy to come up with.  I thought about the jar often, but I could not think of things to write down, that were worthy, to put in the jar.  

There are several reasons why I was unable to come up with things to jot down and put into the jar.  I did not know who I was. I did not know what I was meant to be doing. I did not understand that I was responsible for how I was feeling, I was so quick to blame others for my unhappiness. I thought that a busy life meant a full life, and while we were doing all the things and we had all the things, my life felt empty.

As I sit in stillness, in this moment, I realize how far I have come on this journey.  Tears of joy and gratitude well in my eyes because I can sit in stillness, be present in my life, and hold that space for others.  All day, everyday, is filled with meaning, purpose, and snapshots of beautiful moments connecting with other humans, and most importantly, connecting with myself. 

I didn't know it was possible to be overwhelmed in joy and how to be grateful for the many gifts in my life each day.  I didn't know that it was possible to be in joy and enjoy my life, just as it is.  I was waiting for each next achievement to make me happy, to feel like I had finally arrived, to give me a sense of security, and I was basing this all on external things. 

Come to find out after reaching each achievement, it felt good, but only briefly, which is what I call happiness (feeling good about something that is based on something external, that is short lived).  Joy, on the other hand, is an internal experience that can include jumping up and down and also encompasses things like stillness, peace of mind, purpose, and meaning.  When you create joy as your internal landscape, you are empowered to dictate the experience you are having in your life.  You get to decide.  

I am so honored to show others how to create their internal landscape of joy.  Is this something you would like to know?  If so, lets jump on a zoom next week so I can remind you how amazing you are and how much you deserve to live a fulfilling life.   
Peace,
Erin "my jar runneth over" Mac