More True Fun In Your Life
This week I am listening to the book, "The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again." Truth be told, I already have a lot of fun in my life, so I was skeptical that I was going to get something out of it. As usual, I am learning quite a bit, and enjoying myself in the process. She begins the book explaining that she surveyed a wide variety of people and asked them to share experiences that they would label as fun. The last one she shares is from a 5 year-old who when asked, "What is the color of fun?" Responded with, "Sunshine!" (I love this!)
Through this information she came up with a definition of what she calls True Fun. She says:
"True fun is the confluence of playfulness, connection, and flow. Whenever these three states occur at the same time we experience True Fun. Playfulness, connection and flow all encourage us to shed our inhibitions and formal facades, which is likely why people report feeling in-touch with their authentic selves when they have True Fun."
The author then defines the three parts (rough account):
Playfulness: spirit of lightheartedness and freedom, doing an activity just for the sake of doing the activity and not caring too much about the outcome, being outside normal reality, relieved of everyday responsibilities.
Connection: the feeling of having a special, shared experience with someone or something, it can occur when you are connected to your physical environment, the activity in which you are participating, a pet or even your own body, in the vast majority of instances when people describe true fun they report feeling like they are joining together with someone, while at the same time feeling totally themselves.
Flow: a psychological term for when you are fully engaged in your present experience to the point where you lose track of time.
WELL, let me just tell you that if I had to describe my experience prior to the last 5 years, excluding up and through most of my 20s (because woo hoo, I had a really good time!), I would not say it was True Fun. Now, there were moments of True Fun, for sure, but somehow when I finally started to become an "adult" (late 20s) I thought that meant becoming serious, planning for the future, taking on more serious commitments and responsibilities (homeownership, creating a career, buying a reliable car, getting married, having children). I'm not saying don't do those things, that's all great, but it seems that I made a trade of fun for responsibilities! Was it just me?
Anyway, the author explains that the greatest offender to True Fun is distraction. This is because True Fun requires flow, and flow requires us to be present. She says if we want to experience more True Fun we need to minimize the amount of time we spend trying to pay attention to more than one thing at a time. And then she says the thing that helped me realize why I was not having True Fun when I became an adult!! She says, "We've all experienced the frustration and loneliness that comes from being around someone who is physically present, but mentally someplace else." This is who I was. I was everywhere I needed to be, physically, but completely caught up mentally in my business!
If you are not having True Fun in your life, if you are not enjoying it predominantly, it is possible, and you deserve it! I would love to be a part of that journey. Let me know how I can support you in finding more True Fun and enjoying your life!
Erin "writing to you is True Fun" Mac