I am just about to head out and go spend time with my 4th graders. Everyday is different and there is never a dull moment. Today I had the idea that I would write a bunch of “I am” affirmations on a piece of paper and put them in a bag. I will ask them to pick one out and say it to themselves 3 times and then tell me where they have evidence that the statement is true.
Why am I doing this? I have come to realize that many of us, as adults, lack confidence. Why is this? I think it is because we are, and have practiced for some time, saying things to ourselves, things that are not positive, and frankly, not helpful. Things like: “Why did you do that?”, “You should know better!”, “That was so stupid!”, and many others.
So, why do we say these things to ourselves? We do it because we think that being in the world is about making the right decisions so that we aren’t wrong. Say what? That’s right! We have been told that what we need to do is learn from and categorize every experience so that when it comes up again, we will have the solution right away. We were taught that if we make the right decisions then our life will be good and work out how we want.
I don’t know about you, but that is not exactly what has been going on in my life, you? Well, the categorizing and trying to “learn” from my mistakes has definitely been going on, however the life being good and working out how I wanted to, that didn’t come from learning from my mistakes, that came from something else. It came from letting go. Letting go of the idea that I know how it is all supposed to be. Letting go of the action I think that I should take. Letting go that I have any clue how to make it happen. Letting go, letting go, letting go and becoming the bystander watching my life unfold.
I’m not gonna lie, it has not been easy. In fact, I am still working on this on the daily. I mean if I let go and watch the unfolding isn’t that the same as being lazy? Not at all, well maybe to some people!? The letting go is releasing all the resistance and when we do this, solution comes. I don’t mean that everything in life is a problem that needs a solution. I mean, more like the path. The path to the places that feel delicious in your life, that is what unfolds.
So, how do we do this? Well, that’s the crazy stuff I talk about all day with people. I show them how to overcome anxiety and stress by understanding why it is there and learning to choose something else, like joy! Would you like to stop being the arbiter of control and learn how to roll with whatever comes your way? Would you like to just let it go (cue the Frozen music) and watch your life unfold? I'm here when you're ready.
Erin "I am letting go" Mac