Let Go Of The Idea That...

I had to come to the realization that I was not ever going to get it all done. See, I've always been a "to-do list" kind of person. I thought this was normal, that everyone wrote out all the things they were going to do each day. Then, as I got older, I started saying I was "goal-oriented" because of my to do list. What I didn't realize was that the to-do list was running my life. I would wake up in the morning incredibly motivated, in fact you could even say a bit frenzied, to get this to-do list started and completed. I would even remember by the afternoon beginning to feel a sense of dread at the moment where I realized that I was not going to get everything on the list completed. Until one day, I questioned myself, inside my head so as not to seem crazy, "Why do I feel like this all needs to get done today?" This was profound for me!

It was much later when I realized that the to-do list is never going to get done. See, I didn't realize that I was always going to produce more things for me to get done, and thus put on the list. You might be thinking this sounds ridiculous, but I did not know that the list was not going to end. I believe I was driving to get all the items on the list done so that I would not have a list, while still creating a list every day for years. Am I alone here? Does anyone else have this experience?

I am going to assume that I am not alone, and though it may not be a to-do list that is plaguing you, maybe it's something else, like emails, maybe you start out each day or week thinking that you will get to all the emails, respond to them, get rid of spam, unsubscribe to those emails you don't want any more, and finally clean out that inbox, only to find that a few months later you are back to 5,000 emails again? Maybe this is just me (which it definitely is!)?

All this to say, "What is driving you?" Is it the to-do list, your responsibilities to children, family, co-workers, employees, a significant other? Do you know what is driving you? Or, are you like how I used to be, driving to drive, meaning you are in the habit of going after things just for the exercise of going after things, to be busy, and to accomplish a lot. Don't get me wrong, this driving to drive has some perks like, you get a lot of stuff done, you get the certificates, the degrees, the acknowledgment from others saying, "How do you do it?" But, to what end? People used to tell me all the time that they couldn't believe how much I got done, how many different projects I was doing, and in awe. When I think back to that time in my life I cannot remember what it was all for. I just kept doing and doing.

Now, don't get me wrong, I still do to-do lists, I just handle them differently. I don't stress over them and they don't run me, anymore. I get to what I can each day, I get to the rest that I can the next day, and I don't put more thought into it than that. I still have my fingers in a lot of pies (I think that's the right saying?), however, I am actively in each thing with intention. I know exactly why I am doing what I am doing and, it is not for fear of having nothing to do. It is because I want to make a mark on this world by teaching people how to heal themselves so that they, too, can predominantly enjoy their life, because I believe it is their birthright. Does any of this resonate with you? If so click on the link so that we can connect https://www.erin-mac.com/contact.
Peace,
Erin "being and intentional doing" Mac