I Finally Figured It Out
Maybe you can relate. From the beginning I always knew that I wanted to find someone that I could spend my life with that was all the things: loving, kind, funny, successful, loved my family and loved his own. I wanted to be with someone that I could start a family with, make forever memories with, someone to go through battles with and laugh about them when we got on the other side.
I have been in monogamous long-term relationships my entire life hoping to find all the things, but what kept happening was that I would seem to find all the things and then several years later (around seven, to be exact) everything would seem to fall apart. The things I loved about them were no longer there, the little things added up to become big things, we just couldn't seem to communicate to each other clearly. It was so frustrating and heartbreaking.
All I really wanted was to be loved and love someone in a deep, meaningful way, but I just couldn't crack the code, couldn't figure out the secret. See, society would have you believe that longevity makes for a successful relationship, but I know plenty of people in 10, 15, 20+ year marriages that aren't happy. Or, being with your best friend, but I know plenty of people who have an unfulfilling sex life (and we all know the opposite of that doesn't work!) The other misguidance is the idea that you find your perfect match, someone who completes you.
It was not until I began to work on myself, love me, understand me, that I began to recognize the secret to being in a loving, fulfilling and meaningful partnership. See, the person to fall in love with is yourself, the "soul mate" to find is yourself, not in someone else. When you learn to heal and grow you become a whole person and when two whole people come together and understand how to support each other in their healing and growth, authentic love abounds, exponentially.
I have just expanded my practice to working with couples on these very things. Is your relationship lacking luster? Does it feel like you are challenged by communication and arguments? Is it starting to feel too comfortable and not exciting (yes, it can be exciting even after many years)? Are you wanting to create a deeper, more meaningful connection with your significant other? You can have all these things in your relationship and enjoy it starting now. Let's hop on a call and I can get you and yours started on a joyful relationship path. What works for you next week?
Peace, Erin "relationship whisperer" Mac