Why We Are Here
This week I was speaking to a potential new client, doing what I call a "Discovery Call". This call is about allowing the potential new client to get to know me and my style and an opportunity for me to understand why they may be seeking help. We had a lovely conversation about her and her boyfriend and how when they get into an argument it always ends with her being short and mean and him raising his voice. I explained to her that when they have a disagreement that leads to a fight, that each of them plays their role based on the past hurts they have had and that they picked each other so that they could heal and grow. And, the same goes for you!
Everyone and every situation in your life is there specifically for your healing and growth, there are no accidents. We are faced with unique challenges that are for us to reconcile. This is not a punishment, this is why I believe we are here, to heal and grow from these, specific to us, challenges. And, the challenges continue to show up in your life until you heal from them. Until then, they will keep giving you opportunity after opportunity to learn how to address them once and for all and move on from the pain these challenges cause you. How do you know that these challenges are for you to learn and grow from? Because they are happening in your life.
I believe that the reason we are here is to reconcile these challenges because I can't figure out any other reason for us being here. It cannot be to amass things because as much as it feels great to have a new thing (car, house, toy, etc.), my experience is that in short order (a week, a month, a year) that new, exciting thing is just a thing. It cannot be to have more money because when is there enough money? Is the amassing of money for safety and security? I think that money cannot provide safety and security because depending on how you have it invested, in my lifetime I have seen the stock market go up, down, and crash and the housing market crash, the economy go up and down, gas prices go up and up, and the cost of groceries increase, and all of these are not things that
we can control. Life is not static, it is ever changing. It cannot be to cross finish lines, get accolades, certificates, degrees, promotions, or trophies because, again, these things feel really great when we achieve them, but they are short-lived. If we are meant to attain things, money, and accolades and that is all there is then in order to have a happy life you will need to continue this cycle, and to what end. When will it be enough?
I do not think we get to the end of our life and wish we had more things, more money, worked more, and more accomplishments. I think the concentration at that point is likely on making sure that the people we love know they are loved by us, maybe we regret or wish we had prioritized time with those that we loved over other things, and likely we long for deeper, more meaningful relationships with all those in our lives, and wish we had made more memories? What do you think?
Maybe you can relate to my words? See, in my old life I was 100% dug into the idea that once I had reached that financial goal, had enough retirement, savings, houses, cars, went on extravagant trips, accomplished noteworthy things personally and professionally, then I would have peace of mind and freedom. What I found was there was never enough money, things, savings, or accomplishments. Each time I achieved my goal I raised the bar even higher and what it felt like was that my hair was on fire and I was trying to run away from myself, only I couldn't. Maybe it was just me? Maybe I'm the only one that felt like I was on a treadmill that I couldn't get off of? (Read my story here, if you want to know more details: https://www.erin-mac.com/erin-s-bio)
What I came to figure out was that peace of mind and freedom have nothing to do with money, things, or accomplishments. Peace of mind is an emotional state that is cultivated within when you understand that you are here to reconcile your challenges. Freedom is something that is achieved when you are no longer attached to outcomes or people needing to be a certain way in order for you to feel good. This is why I do what I do, help people discover how to heal and grow so that they can be present in their lives, with those that they love, now, since we are not guaranteed anything beyond this moment. If this sounds like the journey you would like to be on, I so want to take that journey with you.
Peace, Erin "healing and growing is my jam" Mac
P.S. In case you are wondering, I like money, things, and accomplishments, too, I just know, now, that they will not bring me joy, that can only be accomplished by doing healing on the inside :)